This week I had two nights in a row of personal hurts that tore into old wounds I thought had healed.
In the one situation bitterness was just waiting for me to grab hold of it and run. In the second matter, disappointment sent up my invisible “you can’t hurt my feelings” wall. This was quickly followed by the voice of self-pity and withdrawal. Maybe you aren’t familiar with these thoughts, but I know them all too well.
I also knew that I was not going to follow the rabbit trail of satan into the pit. Grabbing hold of the hem of the garment of Jesus, I clung on tight and prayed.
After confessing my hurts, my disappointments and my feelings to God this morning, I journaled a quick prayer that in part went something like this: ”God – what is your plan and purpose for me this day?” This day. I don’t need to contemplate what God has in store for me six months from now and then find myself confused, overwhelmed or with hurt feelings. I don’t need to mull over the past. Instead, I knew I needed to focus on today and to focus on what God had planned.
And then “today” happened like this.
Husband and I head out early for some quick errands. I postpone shower until we will get home. I may or may not have last washed my hair
two three days ago. Last shower more than 24 hours.
Text from friend: Wish u were off today!
Me: I am. Whatcha need?
Friend: I’m off too and would love to have a cup of joe with my friend!
*Pause* in the texting for my thoughts, in no particular order, to go something like this:
I haven’t showered. I haven’t washed my hair in three days. I don’t have time to do either. I have been anticipating a quiet afternoon all week. I have a long list of things I really, really wanted to do today. Today is the last day this week that I will have a chance to do them. Men’s bible study will be at our house tonight. I need to make a snack, dust the tables, pick up the shoes, wash the dishes, pick up the living room, clean off the dining room table. I need to shower. We will be up really early in the morning and it is going to be a long day on Friday and another early morning on Saturday. When will I have time to get it all done? I haven’t made my grocery list or cut my coupons. I wanted to clean out the kitchen cupboards. (You would want me to clean them too!) I HAVEN’T WASHED MY HAIR OR SHOWERED and we will meet in a public place for coffee.
Me: How about this afternoon at Cracker Barrel for some coffee?
Friend: Perfect! Just text me with the time.
Me: . . . You are getting the unshowered version of me.
Friend (very, very good friend): I’m good with the unshowered version . . any version will be perfect!
I asked God to order my day. I asked Him to plan it for me. This was His plan. For four hours my friend and I sat drinking coffee, eating peach cobbler and rocking in chairs. We allowed our souls to be vulnerable and open and to heal. We shared stories of the battles we have been through and how God was faithful in the midst of the pain and uncertainty.
We laughed. We encouraged one another. Ministering to each other through the things God has shown us and taught us. Inwardly we were giving numerous double fist pumps for the victories we saw where the enemy meant to bring defeat. We celebrated life and embraced the joy offered by Christ. And the weight of my hurts and my to-do list completely disappeared.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,
just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11